Comments on: Rupture

By: patty bresky

patty bresky — Sun, 30 Jun 2013 23:31:07 +0000

Like Janine, I have had some drifts, but I have also had one rupture. The rules for the drifts are “You’re not allowed to move on to the next life stage (engagement, marriage, career, parenthood) unless these things are at least on my horizon, too”; and “You’re not allowed to change into someone I can’t see my whole self in such that I feel I must sequester important parts, making me feel lonely with you.” My rupture rule is “You’re not allowed to let life make you bitter and envious, imagine you’re disguising these toxins in a you’re-so-important-to-me sandwich, then stare in disbelief when I stop taking your phone calls.

By: shrinkrapped

shrinkrapped — Sat, 29 Jun 2013 20:55:50 +0000

In reply to Janine Kovac. From what I know of you, maybe you don't have any ruptured friendships for more positive reasons. But what you say is thought-provoking. Some of my ruptures have come from being TOO conflict-avoidant. It seems a fine art to know when to say something, when to keep quiet. More grist for the mill--and for further writing! I look forward to yours!

By: Janine Kovac

Janine Kovac — Sat, 29 Jun 2013 04:35:57 +0000

I don’t have any ruptured friendships… but only because I’m conflict-avoidant. Those friendships are drifts, not rifts. Then this week in my writing group I heard that if you’re conflict-avoidant in real life, you’ll be conflict-avoidant in your writing. So since I’m starting to tackle this in my writing, I’ll let you know if it gets tackled in real life!