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Comments on: Advice https://shrinkrapped.com/?p=1568 A mid-life shrink raps about life, friendship, psychology, and politics Tue, 10 May 2016 22:17:36 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.1 By: shrinkrapped https://shrinkrapped.com/?p=1568&cpage=1#comment-1807 Tue, 10 May 2016 22:17:36 +0000 http://r9f.352.myftpupload.com/?p=1568#comment-1807 In reply to hbksloss.

If your main intent has been to make your kids know and feel that they are loved, I bet they do! Thanks for writing, Heidi.

]]> By: hbksloss https://shrinkrapped.com/?p=1568&cpage=1#comment-1806 Tue, 10 May 2016 21:20:21 +0000 http://r9f.352.myftpupload.com/?p=1568#comment-1806 Your post makes me want to go back and re-examine the messages I have my kids. It certainly was, ‘Don’t be as selfish as my mother is’ and ‘I’m trying my best not to raise you as I was raised, as I want you to know and feel loved!’ Not sure how well either message got through, but I did my best!

]]> By: shrinkrapped https://shrinkrapped.com/?p=1568&cpage=1#comment-1805 Mon, 09 May 2016 18:53:45 +0000 http://r9f.352.myftpupload.com/?p=1568#comment-1805 In reply to wendyj59.

Thanks for writing, Wendy. I always admire people who did not grow up with parents who were not good models, but were able to metabolize their experiences to take it as the model of how NOT to be. Lucky you, and your kids are also lucky.

]]> By: shrinkrapped https://shrinkrapped.com/?p=1568&cpage=1#comment-1804 Mon, 09 May 2016 18:50:52 +0000 http://r9f.352.myftpupload.com/?p=1568#comment-1804 In reply to Sue LeBreton.

Thanks, Sue. I think you’re right–we spend a lot of time separating to establish our own identities, which may be necessary but has a cost we don’t often recognize.

]]> By: Sue LeBreton https://shrinkrapped.com/?p=1568&cpage=1#comment-1803 Mon, 09 May 2016 16:55:34 +0000 http://r9f.352.myftpupload.com/?p=1568#comment-1803 This line made laugh aloud-however, I never hurl ashtrays at the TV screen when politicians I loathe appear. But that’s only because I don’t smoke.

It also has me wondering how much time as daughters we spend (now as I am older I wonder if it’s wasted) trying to not be our mothers. Perhaps it is part of the natural rite of finding ourselves but I feel I have pushed too hard against my tendencies to be like my mom and so missed some of the positives I carry. Interesting topic.

]]> By: wendyj59 https://shrinkrapped.com/?p=1568&cpage=1#comment-1802 Mon, 09 May 2016 12:27:32 +0000 http://r9f.352.myftpupload.com/?p=1568#comment-1802 My mother and her mother were very different. My grandmother was selfish. No other word for it. She always put herself first and consequently my mum (the eldest of 4 daughters) took the brunt of most things. It made my mum a very different person, the opposite of her own mother she was everything I could hope for in a mum and I hope that all her good traits have been passed on to me and also to my kids. I think they have because she spent a lot of time with them when they were growing up giving them a good example and they seem to be pretty decent adults. Fortunately they haven’t inherited my cautious nature. They seem to take after their Dad and want to be more adventurous and well travelled. I’m glad about that.

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