Thanks, Cynthia. It’s a challenge, isn’t it? You are very wise.

It’s wise to know what to keep to ourselves, and when the time is ripe for bringing it forth (if ever). Thanks for writing, Heidi!

Such differences between your girls. I have pieces for my blog that I have put away and hope to share someday, when my daughter can be proud of my writing not upset. For now I share other parts of the mothering adventure on my blog, and get to read yours!

Thanks, Gloria. Not quite as rough as Tsar Nicolas II had it!

Thanks, Carol. I’m so glad you like it. My mother lived through me vicariously, and I loved our closeness before I realized its downsides. It was quite a shock to my system to have a daughter with such different privacy settings, and it was often painful until I realized this was who she was and that it wasn’t personal–even that it was healthier than what I’d had with my mother. I wish your mother had been more patient with who you are too.

Thanks, Heidi. It’s tricky to negotiate the appropriate space with these private daughters, isn’t it? I shared this essay with “Emma” long after I had written it, when she was maturing out of the need to be so intensely private, and after we had had some important heart-to-hearts at her initiative about having a more authentic relationship. She does not routinely read my blog, though her younger sister does. Writing about one’s intimates is always so dicey. When I asked my daughters how they felt about it, “Emma” said, “I don’t care what you write as long as I don’t have to read it.” “Ally,” on the other hand, said, “I don’t care what you write as long as I get a cut.”

Does she read your blog? How does she react to posts about her? My daughter had not been thrilled.