“FOMO?” I asked blankly. “What’s that?”

“You know—Fear of Missing Out. I thought I needed to move back to San Francisco as soon as possible so I could be part of the scene there. But my friends tell me it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

Ally was poised to spend another year in Spain, this time in Barcelona. Even those creating the scene she didn’t want to miss might envy Ally’s soon-to-be life in the World Capital of Where It’s Happening. So I didn’t quite get it.

Which is no surprise, really: My standard m.o. is missing out on everything.

“I live under a rock,” I frequently say by way of explanation when my friends share a juicy tidbit about a celebrity I’ve never heard of, or talk about TV shows, technology, the latest books, or how the Giants are doing.

“Giants are baseball, 49ers are football, right?” I contribute to the discussion.

Trouble is, I feel bad about inhabiting the limbo between wanting to be in the know but being too lazy or overwhelmed to get there. Not following the news as I once did may preserve my sanity, but I view it as a failure of citizenship. I know about some great TV series, but am always seasons behind on Homeland, The Good Wife, Justified. (Breaking Bad, The Wire, and Mad Men I’ve missed out on altogether.) And don’t get me started on how bad I feel about my technophobia!

But death as an exit strategy from the dismal feeling of falling farther and farther behind isn’t a very appealing option either.

I wish I could be more like people who have JOMO: Joy of Missing Out.

Like my mother-in-law, who, when I try to explain Facebook, asks in disbelief, “Why would anyone want to do that? Why not pick up the phone?”

Or my daughter Emma, who is mystified by her sister’s failure to see the ruination wrought by “progress,” and who proudly hangs on to her flip-phone.

Or my friend Sally, who has a horror of answering any phone, and doesn’t fret about her social media savvy or lack thereof. (Sally also believes that dog boutiques catering to people who buy jeweled collars signify the demise of civilization.)

These wise ones could all care less about keeping up with anything or anyone.

How I envy their JOMO!

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Do you tend more toward FOMO or JOMO?