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<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\nI was sure that the documentary “Three Identical Strangers” would be nominated for an Oscar, but it wasn’t. Now that Oscar week and the month of February are slipping away, here are my thoughts about the film. Warning: Spoilers Abound. This piece was originally published in NCSPP’s “Impulse.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Twin studies, particularly those of babies separated at birth, have long provided important information about genetic and environmental influences. But how is such research conducted? How do infants come to be separated in the first place? What is the long-term impact?<\/p>\n\n\n\n <\/p>\n\n\n\n The riveting documentary Three\nIdentical Strangers <\/em>puts these questions front and center as it explores\nthe accidental discovery of one another at age 19 by Bobby, Eddy, and David:\nthree identical triplets separated at birth in 1961 and adopted into different\nfamilies who had no knowledge of their new baby\u2019s multiplicity. Or of the\nduplicity of the adoption agency and researchers at Yale\u2019s Child Development\nCenter under the direction of pscychoanalyst Peter Neubauer. <\/p>\n\n\n\n We feel the triplets\u2019 experience: the initial joy of their\nreunion, the shadow of early attachment wounds, the longing for union, and the\nreality of difference. The film also focuses on the arrogance of powerful\npeople and institutions who withhold vital information without regard for the\nimpact on unwittingly conscripted research subjects.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Neubauer and the adoption agency are depicted as sinister.\nBut are they uniquely so, or was it then typical for adoption agencies to\nwithhold information about birth families? Were identical siblings separated\nfor nefarious research purposes, or because it was<\/em> easier to place one baby in a family? The not-quite-explicit\nattribution of unique villainy too easily glides over conventions of the time,\nincluding lack of human subject protocols. It also lets us off the hook from\nexamining our own and ongoing misguidedness and unconscious bias. <\/p>\n\n\n\n After skillfully handling many complexities, the film disappointingly\ntakes a sharp turn into more simplistic supposition.<\/p>\n\n\n\n By then we\u2019ve gradually learned that the boys all showed\nearly signs of separation anxiety and psychological troubles. Eddy was\ndiagnosed as manic-depressive and took his own life in 1995. As Bobby cogently\nasks, \u201cWhy him and why not me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s a good question, and one that lends itself to a deeper\nexploration of what facilitates the expression or suppression of a genetic vulnerability,\nthe high heritability of bipolar disorder, and the high risk of suicide such a\ndiagnosis signifies. Instead, we\u2019re provided a definitive answer:<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s all about nurture,\u201d declares a family friend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n David\u2019s\naunt, who at least acknowledges that nature plays a role, also concludes that\n\u201cnurture can overcome nearly everything.\u201d She does so after describing Eddy\u2019s\nfather as a strict\ndisciplinarian and a traditional, quiet man who didn\u2019t discuss problems. Because\nEddy never talked about their relationship, she decides that it couldn\u2019t have\nbeen good. Maybe. It\u2019s worth noting, however, that there\u2019s a very large pool of\nfathers and sons, especially from back then, who could be described this way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n We would\nbe as foolish to dismiss the impact of parenting as that of biology. Still,\nit\u2019s jarring when a film whose strength is complexity overlooks its own\nevidence about biology\u2019s role to conclude with parent-blaming. <\/p>\n\n\n\n I began my training as a therapist at a time when “refrigerator mothers” and schizophrenogenic mothers–blamed for their offsprings’ autism or schizophrenia–were still very much in the literature. Thankfully, those views were challenged, and we have developed greater respect for the intertwining influences of nature AND nurture. Yet the residue persists. We must remain vigilant about examining our own unconscious inheritances and assumptions.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was sure that the documentary “Three Identical Strangers” would be nominated for an Oscar, but it wasn’t. Now that Oscar week and the month of February are slipping away, here are my thoughts about the film. Warning: Spoilers Abound. … Continue reading