![\"Recycling](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/r9f.352.myftpupload.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/Recycling-chemo.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nToday is recycling day. I toss into the bin a large cache, more than the usual fundraising appeals and advertising circulars. Chemotherapy and You<\/em> lands on top of the pile, along with notes from consultations with surgeons and my oncologist, diaries tracking food intake, medications, and neuropathy ratings on a scale of 1-5, Look Good, Feel Better<\/em> brochures, Radiation and You<\/em>. It\u2019s a good day for a purge\u2014the one-year anniversary of my last round of chemo for a rare and aggressive form of uterine cancer.<\/p>\n I\u2019d let go of a lot of things already: the sense of having an uninterrupted life; the veil separating me from mortality; my \u201clady parts,\u201d as my friend Deb calls the uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes, and cervix removed by the surgeon. Then my hair. Sometimes, though less than you might think, my energy, appetite, and spirits.<\/p>\n It was a long winter. But then it was the first day of spring, as it is today.<\/p>\n A year ago, at the end of my last chemotherapy session, the staff presented me with a Certificate of Achievement, \u00a0 Today I hesitate to add my certificate to the recycling bin. It\u2019s strange moving away from active treatment. Along with the sense of relief comes the fear of moving beyond chemo\u2019s protective bubble. Anxiety about cancer recurring simultaneously recedes and grows as time passes. Will throwing out my Certificate of Achievement jinx me? But I toss it anyway, along with magical thinking. I\u2019m happy to be done with cancer\u2019s clutter.<\/p>\n My cancer treatment included some Chinese medicine<\/a>, and my practitioner, Michael, prescribed for Days 5 through 10 of each chemo cycle anything that would help my body cleanse itself of dead cells. \u201cCleansing can also be figurative as well; anything that you do during this part that helps you get rid of things is useful\u2014cleaning out closets and the garage, completing projects, and resolving personal and business issues and relationships.\u201d My garage is still a mess. But today\u2019s purge feels very cleansing.<\/p>\n I\u2019m hanging onto my wig, though. Maybe it\u2019s like Fat Clothes, the oversized garments in the back of the closet you can\u2019t get rid of after you lose weight just in case it comes back. You never know.<\/p>\n *<\/p>\n Read more <\/em>Cancer Detour posts<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Today is recycling day. I toss into the bin a large cache, more than the usual fundraising appeals and advertising circulars. Chemotherapy and You lands on top of the pile, along with notes from consultations with surgeons and my oncologist, … Continue reading <\/a>with accolades about my courage and perseverance. Such praise felt unwarranted, as it wasn’t so much a matter of bravery as complying with the recommended treatment in order to regain my health. But I did leave feeling grateful. And so relieved to be done.<\/p>\n