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\u201cWhy can\u2019t you just be happy for me, and then go home and talk behind my back later, like a normal person?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
So laments Lillian to Annie as their once-close friendship derails in the 2011 hit movie, Bridesmaids<\/em><\/a>.<\/p>\n Lillian (played by Maya Rudolph) and Annie (Kristin Wiig) have been best friends since before they had breasts. Nothing can come between them\u2014they share keys to each other\u2019s apartments, secret glances, and a talent for skewering men\u2019s sexual habits. Annie\u2019s been sleeping with a cad since her business and relationship went bust. Lillian\u2019s convinced her boyfriend is about to break up with her. But the men are a sideshow to the true bond. Over coffee and chocolate cake, Lillian and Annie laughingly propose to one another, \u201cWill you marry me?\u201d \u201cYes!\u201d they both exclaim.<\/p>\n Instead Lillian gets engaged to Doug, and Annie responds with, \u201cOh, my God! What is happening?\u201d Lillian and her fianc\u00e9 coo to one another over the phone; when Lillian tells him how happy Annie is for them, Annie calls from the background, \u201cNo I\u2019m not!\u201d Her forced, manic laughter quickly subsides into a crestfallen expression as the contrast in their life trajectories becomes all too clear. Still, there\u2019s no question that Lillian wants her best friend to be her maid of honor, and that Annie is honored indeed. She\u2019ll put on a happy face despite her misery, and even sincerely mean it.<\/p>\n Until she meets Helen, Lillian\u2019s new friend, who is richer, prettier, thinner, better connected\u2014and who never misses an opportunity to flaunt it over Annie. Worse, it appears Helen has supplanted Annie as Lillian\u2019s best friend.<\/p>\n Hilarity ensues as envy, competition, anger, galloping diarrhea, and all hell break loose.<\/p>\n Shit happens when there\u2019s disparity between best friends, or between what they profess and what they feel. Especially when someone else comes between them. I can relate. What woman can\u2019t?<\/p>\n In my case, my best friend, Sharon, responded to my engagement with, \u201cHow bourgeois!\u201d She was my maid of honor, and although she didn\u2019t ground any planes en route to the Bachelorette party, she was late to the wedding and called me a Nazi for being uptight.<\/p>\n Of course it\u2019s more complicated than that. Sharon was never as rotten as our bridal saga makes her sound. Years before, when we took a four-month, post-college trip, she even nursed me tenderly through my own episode of galloping diarrhea in a Tel Aviv youth hostel after an unfortunate encounter with unwashed strawberries. Besides, I was<\/em> often a Nazi.<\/p>\n We had a long history of ups and downs, chortling over in-jokes but also treading carefully amid landmines. Sometimes a misstep would lead to a blow-up, until we couldn\u2019t bear the distance anymore–our conciliatory letters often crossed in the mail. Eventually our signals got hopelessly crossed. I don\u2019t remember the details, but I do remember feeling like I\u2019d been punched in the gut. Our final rupture knocked the wind out of me for years.<\/p>\n My break-up with Sharon is not unusual. The details vary, but practically every woman I know has a rupture story, complete with endless obsession and wounds that take forever to heal. Sometimes the rift is mutual and obvious. Often it\u2019s silent, with one or both friends claiming that everything\u2019s fine while secretly feeling adrift, even hostile. As Lillian\u2019s opening remark reminds us, it\u2019s normal for friends to be two-faced.<\/p>\n But why? Why are ruptures in women\u2019s friendships so common? And so painful?<\/p>\n What do you think? Can best friends ever live happily ever after?<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cWhy can\u2019t you just be happy for me, and then go home and talk behind my back later, like a normal person?\u201d So laments Lillian to Annie as their once-close friendship derails in the 2011 hit movie, Bridesmaids. Lillian (played … Continue reading