Unpredictability at the Helm

The personal is political. As we psychotherapists have seen lately, the political is also personal. According to the APA, 52 percent of Americans suffered from significant election-related stress before November 8. Since Donald Trump’s electoral victory, anxiety has escalated, at least in the Bay Area. Clients have come into our offices extremely upset about the president-elect. His bullying, bigotry, boasts about sexual assault, and denigrating remarks have triggered past traumas and intensified fresh fears. Many have experienced deep ruptures with friends and family. Their loved ones’ support for a candidate who behaves so deplorably is reminiscent of non-protective parents who turn a blind eye to abuse.

These are some of the specific wounds. Yet the damage operates on an even deeper and more pervasive level regardless of one’s personal history.  Just as families are heavily influenced by who’s in charge, so is our American family. Trump has capitalized on a yearning for a strong authority figure to take care of us and keep us safe in unsettling times. But what happens when the person most responsible for containing threats to our well-being prides himself on being uncontained and unpredictable?

Therapists know what happens in families governed by an erratic parent. Insecure, even disorganized, attachment styles generally result. Some of the most gravely injured people we treat are those who grew up not knowing from one minute to the next who they would encounter: the loving, playful father, or the impulsive sadist who destroyed through word and deed? So many of our clients were thrown off-balance by a parent sometimes dispensing favors and forgiveness, at other times exacting vengeance, and routinely playing family members off against each other.  We have witnessed these dynamics throughout Trump’s campaign and transition parade. He puts his own interest above all else, toys with the truth and with the American people, and delights in his unpredictability. Such an environment distorts reality and destroys trust, worsening a pre-existing problem of a post-factual politics that enabled Trump’s rise.

This is the stuff of insecurity, not the necessary security people—and countries–deserve. Many therapists have themselves been at a loss to respond because they, too, feel unnerved. Now more than ever, though, we will be called upon to help individuals and the collective withstand the personal and political damage of unpredictability by finding and speaking truth, fostering empowerment, building resiliency, and prevailing despite a volatile head of family—or state.

*

Originally published in NCSPP’s Impulse

13 thoughts on “Unpredictability at the Helm

  1. As my son once said of his first grade teacher: “She knows the words for what I feel in my heart.” Thank you, Lorrie, for speaking so beautifully and succinctly to what we are experiencing, both as therapists and as citizens of this battered, beloved country.

  2. Thank you for such a thoughtful and necessary piece. Clearly, we therapists will have a lot to do in the months ahead! Meanwhile, we can be activists too; I’m going to DC for the women’s march along with my two adult daughters. That’ll be a first!

  3. Lorrie – as always your writing is perceptive and articulate. Thank you for this one! I especially appreciate the last sentence. Amen.

  4. Thank you Lorrie. These are challenging times for therapists and clients to deal with Trump and Trumpism. I agree with your developmental take on this issue.

  5. Trump’s election has certainly rattled the nerves and emotions of America. Those of us who did not vote for him are suffering the most because we feel afraid for the future AND disconnected from American’s who voted for him. Tough times. I am doing all that I am able to through pranyama breath work!

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.