Missing My Mother

It’s true that my stay-at-home mother was known for her disinterest in cooking and housekeeping. It’s also true that in 1973, I, her youngest child, was a senior in high school who required little hands-on care. Still, I don’t know how my mother managed, well before streaming or even VCRs, to stay glued to the television for all 51 days–sometimes up to 6 hours per session for a total of 237 hours–of the Senate Watergate Hearings.

My mother’s on my mind because today would have been her 99th birthday, but also because last week I watched the last hearing of the House Select Committee investigating the January 6 attack of the U.S. Capitol. There have been 9 live hearings, most lasting 2-3 hours each. You can stream them for free at any time on many different platforms. I am no match for my mother: Even though I am recently retired with a lot of time on my hands and few obligations, I managed to catch only about four hours in real time. (I eventually watched most of them after the fact.)

Apart from streaming, times are different. Up to 80 million people—three out of four households–watched at least some of the Senate Watergate hearings. As the New York Times TV critic James Poniewozik wrote on the eve of Trump’s first impeachment trial, the Watergate hearings were appointment TV, a collective experience that no longer exists.

In contrast, twenty million watched the first of the January 6 hearings, 18 million the last. Lots of people, especially Republicans, tuned them out altogether, and the hearings are not expected to make much difference in next month’s midterm elections. Almost all congressional Republicans have consistently denigrated them.

In 1973, the vote in the Senate was 77-0 to establish the Senate Committee. For our latest constitutional scandal, following Trump’s second impeachment acquittal, an independent commission in the mold of the 9/11 investigation was recommended. The House approved such a measure 252-175, with 35 Republicans joining all Democrats. Senate Republicans blocked the commission’s formation by filibuster. This left only the House to pursue an investigation through the formation of the January 6 Select Committee. Only two Republicans—Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger–joined all Democrats in voting to proceed, and have thus been driven out of today’s GOP. As I said, times are different.

What’s not different is how much I miss my mother in times of political turmoil and great national consequence. Even though I am glad for her sake that being dead for a long time means she’s missed a lot of truly horrendous stuff that probably would have killed her, how I wish we could have watched the January 6 hearings together, or at least texted back and forth across the country!

I imagine starting January 6, 2021, by sharing our joy that both Raphael Warnock and Jon Ossoff had won their run-off races in Georgia, flipping the U.S. Senate blue. My mother would have loved that. But at least she was spared witnessing Trump’s “wild” rally as it descended into violence.

I, too, was spared live coverage of the unfolding insurrection. My work day of eight back-to-back sessions with psychotherapy clients began just as Mitt Romney shouted, “This is what you’ve gotten!” to his Republican colleagues as the Capitol was breached. I was professionally obligated to be glued to my Zoom screen for the day, not CNN’s live coverage. My information came in snatches from one client after another giving me shocked updates and scrolling through headlines in between sessions.

I followed the news (including Trump’s second impeachment trial for fomenting the insurrection) for days, weeks, months. But the January 6 Committee’s presentation—with lots of live video footage, some of it never before seen–brought it to horrifying life in a way I had missed.

I would have loved to compare notes with my mother. I suspect she would have shared my deep admiration for the January 6 Select Committee members–even and especially Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger (plus, of course, heartthrob Jamie Raskin). To a person they have been dignified, somber, collaborative, and without an iota of grandstanding. They’ve made a compelling, ironclad case for the American people, the Department of Justice, and for history. The Committee’s done so by presenting damning testimony almost entirely from Trump’s own allies–from the hapless January 6 rioter Stephen Ayres to Bill Barr, whose obvious relish in trashing Trump would be funny if it weren’t so maddening. To borrow from Barr’s own twisted interpretation of the Mueller report to protect Trump, the former Attorney General’s turn before the committee “does not exonerate him” from the harm he previously caused.

And hat’s off to the women, especially election workers Shaye Moss and her mother Ruby Freeman. Cassidy Hutchinson and Liz Cheney proved that decency still resides within some Republicans. In fact, feeling sustained admiration for Liz Cheney has been one of the most surprise silver linings of the last year. Who knew?

Here’s what I really would have loved to discuss with my mother: In the closing statements of the final hearing, the low-level foot soldiers of the insurrection were depicted charitably (to put it mildly). Cheney spoke of how Trump had manipulated his followers’ patriotism and love of country. Mike Pence was treated as heroic for refusing to be Trump’s devoted lapdog this one time. Many of Trump’s enablers were similarly and generously let off the hook when January 6 proved a bridge too far for them. This is probably smart strategy. Still, I can’t help but envision my mother and I gagging together over it.

Chairman Bennie Thompson said of Trump, “He is the one person at the center of the storm.” True in one sense, but is he really? Per usual, he is both cause and symptom of the dark forces that have been gathering for some time. As the traitors keep reminding us, “The storm is coming.

I miss my mother, but I’m glad she will miss the storm.

For My Mother, on the Eve of the Public Impeachment Inquiry

My mother was glued to the television every minute of the Watergate hearings when PBS began broadcasting them on May 17, 1973. I was a senior in high school then, and although I’m sure I must have left the house from time to time that summer before college, I was often alongside her, riveted. My mother had spent a lot of the preceding years chain-smoking and cursing every time Richard Nixon showed up on TV, and I lived with equal parts admiration and fear that one day her turquoise glass ashtray full of butts would go hurtling across the living room and shatter the screen.

The testimony itself proved shattering enough: John Dean’s complicity turned into conscience; Alexander Butterfield inadvertently revealing the White House taping system that eventually led to the “smoking gun” tape proving Nixon’s direct involvement in the cover-up and obstructing justice. I don’t remember at what point we put a bottle of champagne in the fridge in anticipation of celebrating the president’s demise after invincibility slowly turned to inevitability. But I remember popping it the night of August 8, 1974, when Nixon announced his resignation, effective at noon the next day.

Those times seem long ago and in a galaxy far, far away. They’ve been beautifully captured by James Poniewozik, chief television critic for the New York Times. I’ve been aching for my mother all day long, and his account makes me ache even more for a time in which accountability and truth mattered.

My mother would have turned 96 just last month, but she’s been dead since 1995. I often look up into the stars at night and think, “Thank God you’ve missed this, it would kill you.” I was grateful that my mother died with her adoration of Bill Clinton intact, unsullied by his impeachment scandal. I could imagine ashtrays hurtling once again through the air when the Supreme Court declared Bush the winner in 2000. Although I’m sorry she missed the Obama years (she would have been equally thrilled by Hillary), I was thankful she missed 9/11, Iraq, endless wars. Trump’s election would surely have finished her off. (I feel that way myself much of the time, and do not have my mother’s habit of smoking to relieve the anxiety.)

But I do wish I could have her on the couch right now, riveted, alive with fury. I love to imagine her devouring then adding to her shelves all the books about Trump (and his fall) to her extensive Watergate library.

Right now, the prospect of popping champagne seems dim. But if and when it comes, I’ll raise a glass to you, Mom.